Things will get much worse before they get any better

Long time no blogging. Lots of things happened.

I lost my father. He passed away suddenly back in the spring from a heart attack barely a month after I have visited him. I flew back to Europe, missed the funeral, but I could spend more time with my family. In a way, I am grateful that I was able to see him, but I am crushed because we planned to do so many things together as a family, finally, now that I could travel more. I find it weird that when I call home I don't get to talk to my father anymore. I miss him.

Then I did a donor egg IVF, just like I promised to my dad on the first trip. I had a spontaneous miscarriage five weeks into pregnancy. It was brutal. I bled for two weeks. After the bleeding stopped, the beta went up. I was diagnosed with ectopic pregnancy, got injections of methorex to expel the fetal tissue and finally, near the end of August the beta dropped to zero and I started getting periods.

Then I learnt that my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She passed away later in the summer. I couldn't even get time off from work to visit because I used all of my vacation time.

Then I had a major dental surgery.

In between of everything, DH and I were working on completing renovations of our house and preparing it for sale.

Another day of procrastination

I always have lots of things to do but I have troubles prioritizing my projects. For example, this weekend, instead of priming the last room we are renovating that is a really burning item now, I decided to highlight my hair myself with a kit I bought from Zellers. The weekend is gone. What was I thinking? On a positive side, I really like my new highlights.

Random thoughts

I feel like I have so much to say but I don't want to talk to anyone in particular. Blogging is perfect for this. How things have been? I decided heck with it and went to Europe by myself without having completely recovered from sinus infection. I had a blast. I loved it so much there, with freezing cold -20C sunny days. I cried for several days on and off upon arriving back in Canada. I miss my family, my home country terribly. Especially that here I don't really have a family, except for my husband and life is tough on most days.

Today we spent three hours doing the first round of spring cleaning. Lots of stuff was thrown away. I still have to do more but I am procrastinating. It's not a big deal if I don't do it, there is always tomorrow and the next weekend...

Ring in the New Year

The New Year brought a cold virus together with acute sinusitis aka sinus infection for me. I've been taking antibiotics for almost two weeks. I started to feel better but the sinus infection is still lingering. The bad side of it is that I am scheduled to travel to Europe to visit my family in about week's time. I've been waiting for this trip for 10 years and now it seems like I may have to cancel it due to sickness. My doctor said that under no circumstance shall I fly with sinusitis. Air pressure makes it much worse.

Now we sit and wait and pray for my sinus infection to clear.

Review of last year

This is my third attempt at blogging. I deleted my previous blogs because they were getting too depressing and I just couldn't go on. I needed to start over. Lets' see how far I'll make it this time.

Last year was disastrous, full of losses on all fronts. I didn't get to cycle at an Eastern-European clinic. The day after I had accepted the donors our lovely strata units owners voted in favor of roof replacement project and all the money we had prepared for DE cycle went towards payment for the roof. We didn't really have a choice.

DH finished his legal studies that lasted for over 3 years. These were three years of living on one income, with desperate attempts to get pregnant, spending tons of money that we didn't have on IVF and getting in debt. After completing his courses with good grades, DH spent 8 months looking for work, day after day, sending tons of resumes.

In September, we went to Seattle to discuss our options with donor eggs. I liked the clinic. I completed pre-screening tests and now I am ready to proceed, except that we don't have $30,000 and I am afraid to take on more debt.

On Christmas eve, DH's mother passed away suddenly from cancer. She was ill two months prior and he was planning to visit her. DH missed his mom by 3 days. She died before he was able to see her to say good bye.